CheRRy!!!

A lovely darling of mine..
The very first time i saw her..i cant take my eyes off  her..
 she was so damn cute..i stunned!

 She has a round face with big round eyes..
Always smiling (so cute-nyer)
 she got those rosy cheeks.. :)
 and
"that" little cute button nose makes her more cuteeeeeeee!
 Damn,i m so in love with her..

weLL
She came all the way from Cameron..Just for me.. (Isn’t that lovely??)
she travelled by bus with my love'with the intention to keep me "companied"..
"Cherry" ...that's what i call her...and that name so suits her..As if it was created for her!
 And
She is always in her pink dress, pink shoe and pink strawberry cap..so pinkish nya!!

BUT....

Sadly.. :( she can’t speak...hmmm...god gave her the looks but not the voice..
How i wish she can respond me.. neh...it’s alright.. i always believe, she able to understands'when i express my feelings to her :)

This is CheRRY!!!

isn't she cute and adorable???

i will introduce her other buddies soon!:)

DAMN!i m just effin 23 not an old lady :( y did i lose ma front tooth..??

Kring!kring!Kring!(House phone rang)
"Shamini, call for u!"(mum practically screaming out my name from downstairs)


Bhanu: what’s wrong with your phone couldn’t get you.
Me: My battery died, and i m too lazy to charge..So anything na?


Bla bla bla...(conversation ended)


WELL
She called me up to inform’ that she was on her way  to my house with her twins (Patmaa)
So i quickly cleaned my messed up room and took a fast shower..
Both arrived after awhile..
Chit Chat and Gossiping section went on for sometime..
Then..
We decided to go for a walk, in nearby park to catch some fresh air..


Suddenly,
i remembered about my shaking tooth..so i turned around and told them about it. But they refuse to believe ..."nah,see" i shake it to prove...i KNOW so dumb of ME right?!:(


CAN u believe?
That instable shaky tooth of mine..
TOOP (there goes my tooth)..


Just fell on the grass..Guess i shook it hard..And my gums continually bled..i burst out with tears..
And yeah!i started searching for it on the grass nearby my feet area..
With the hope i can paste it or do something with it (i admit,i gone crazy at the moment, wont u?)
i couldn’t imagine myself doing daily task and meeting people without my front tooth!


AND


Both of them standing still in shock, especially when seeing me crying nonstop like a kid..
(i deff cant be chilling right?)


it took them sometime to actually utter a sentence..
"Stop crying, your tooth can be fixed"..(Still in shock)


WTH?
Fix it?when?how long does it take? What am i to do till then?


My mind was raining with questions..And i was still crying.. :"(


How can i stop crying..its my tooth! MINE! >.<








---------------------------->creaaaaaaaaaaak!(my room door opened)








It's already late evening and you are still  on your bed..bla bla bla..Wake up and take your shower!!
(mom practically yelling near my ears)


i woke up!(u won’t have any idea, how relief I felt at that moment)


thank god!


But my eyes was filled with tears’ bet did cry in real even it was just a dream...i m sure u know why...coz it's my TOOTH!


But WTF!
This is not the first time i m dreaming like losing my tooth...this irritating dream has been hunting me SO MANY times....*wondering why*

yeah...thats HIM..

Tall, well built, owns an oval face with bright brown eyes but often hiding behind his glasses..with straight short hair..


Hardworking
Responsible
Broadminded
Energetic
Tough
Strong minded
Aggressive
Respected and has a good name among society
Confident
Helpful
Reliable
Hot tempered


Yeah That's So Him!!!!


 i can still clearly remember..Those advice he uttered to me..
Never say No or Don’t know when someone asks you something (possible things yeh..)...


I know why..Because he practices that..
He knows..
Gardening
Structuring a house..
Cooking..
Plumbing..
Driving..
Swimming..
Repairing..
Running, managing, surviving and succeeding in a business..
Owns high general knowledge (technology too)
He speaks good mandarin (well he made so much effort learning it himself)


Name it?
i know..he knows almost everything..Definitely more than those people that i came across in my life..


Well he,
Enjoy doing social service
Loves spending time in temple (coming up with activities)
sucha coffee lover!
Does meditation!
Brings back home those random puppies on street and feeds them.
Reading books at every night is a MUST before he sleeps.
Keep building or changing the house design (he even built own sauna)


he always had so much things to do in life..and so much curiosity to learn and improve his knowledge..
(so inspiring)..


AND he always


Wanted to share his knowledge, experience with me but i was totally not interested in listening to his speech or random advises on life..When i m there for holiday!


As time goes..
Age started rising...environment changed..life started branching out to few roots..
that's when i exactly realized that i need to talk to him..


Well he was staying 1 hour away from my place..therefore i only visit him once awhile..


On some random day..
The thought of calling him up kept bugging me, but right at the moment i couldn’t do it..and once i reach back home,i will totally forget about it..That’s how the feeling was for that specific 1 week..i admit,i neglected my thoughts..


It was about 6.15 am..so windy..Could feel the chillness..WOW! totally a weather to remember..
As ussual..
Same routine..but that day was such a HAPPY DAY!!!i and my girls..were making HELL lots of jokes and giggling away..


Beep beep beep!(my friend's phone rang)
BUT
the phone died before answering due to low battery!
Sham,your mom called!”whispered my friend”


Felt so uneasy all of a sudden..i took a fast walk to nearby phone booth, and called my mum..
Hello?
hello!(bro answered)
ka @ sis....................my bro continued.....


i just lost the phone grip after hearing and sat on the floor...i was weeping..my heart kept screaming..why..why now..
no one could console me at the moment..DEFF not!
My eyes were swollen and I could feel the hot breeze on my cheeks..i didn’t wanna look nor talk to anyone..


After few hours
I was standing right at his door..watching him lying there (stagnant)..


Yeah..that's him...my grandpa..his no longer alive..
All those moments i ignored him was displaying in my head as if i was watching a movie..


It took me some time to digest the fact..THAT He is nomore..


Although it happened 7 years ago..i just can’t forgive myself..as i didn’t appreciate his presence, when i wanted too..he was no longer there..


Till now,
i still think of him so often..and sometime without realizing tears just well up in my eyes whenever i see an old man on the street..
How i wish..i was given another chance to have him back in my life.. :( or i can rewind certain things..


HOWEVER..


i truly feel gifted...coz i have seen and been with ma grandparents and also with ma GREAT GRANDPARENTS!..(I know only very few get those chances..i m blessed coz i m one of them)

Working Life??weLL... :(

Stepping in that huge building to work,knowing it's one of a big company and worrying how are my senior colleagues gonna treat me,made me feel asif i m going to have kittens...

Well i was appointed as accountant (contract basis)..since no experience at all,so more likely assisting here there.

The first day wasnt bad at all as i got to know a new girl @ Xi joining in together with me.But sadly both of us was placed in different teams.She is under Malaysia team and i was required to join Hong Kong team (we deal with accounts related to hong kong branch).
First day some were friendly,some were not bothered..although felt uneasy,i just tought "cmon,its just my first day...i shouldnt judge things that fast".During break hour,1 of my colleague @ Ael,wanted to lunch together.So I,Xi and Ael started going for lunch together and eventually we became good friends.Ael told us so much bout the company,well that's so P n C (sorry ba)!!

As time goes,things changed..(just in few days)..

I realised some were acting so %^&$#*..especially  when 1 of my colleague treats me so unfair compared to other colleagues..she was so rude and sacarstic towards me when asking me assist to her..after assisting her doing piles of jobs (where i need to check and file up thousands of invoices)..not even once she have smile nor thank me..

There was no reason for her to react to me in that way,as i was totally NEW...so what possibly could be the reason?
IZZIT,my color?

WELL that is soOO hurting... :(

and yeah!...i did break down twice due to her rudeness and sacarsm, i seriusly cant stand her anymOore...

Out of 10 in my team,i m the only diff skin tone!perhaps due to that i was kinda left out when some speaks...

I did meet few other colleagues from different team,they were kinda friendly and nice...UNFORTUNATELY they are not in my team..so i only meet them in lift or toilet (by chances).. >.<

i was loaded with so much of work without proper guidance and explaination...n i cant even  understand their ENGLISh (as they speak so fast and soOO broken)..so salah salah salah *screaming in my heart*...and i deff cant say pardon everytime..right?

Things were getting so screwed up,coz i couldnt tolerate certain things and i DEFFO cant voice out anything...all i could do is sit quietly and watch their daily dramas..

i m absolutely cheesed off with my job..

After sometime i was asked by my agent to continue working there,
as in renew or permanent..NO WAY!

so right now i m sticking to my contract basis and counting down happily... :) (weeee..2 weeks more only )

well Xi and Ael prefers speaking in their mother tongue during lunch hour,unless if i start a topic..since i always do it,now i stopped doing so...coz i couldn't give a hoot about anything or anyone anymore!i will be fiddling my phone while they are buzy buzzzing..i feel more alien-ated  now coz wo pu min pai ba!!!

Certain matters that cought in my heart!

Well


Feelings of beeing in love and beeing loved are great,but trust me'there are certain matters and feelings way greater than this :)


Friends?a bunch of lepaking and cool friends are easy to get..but the true ones'aint!only time and situations shows you,who are they..


"A smile confuses an approaching frown"-unknown author.


Heart filled with love?*show it to all*


Family..as time goes'trust me your love for them will eventually increase and you will start giving them more importance and will keep them first in your priority list.


Help and Care for others but know your limits..aight?


Have problems?who dont?but deffinitely our problems are tiny-er compared to some..(convince yourself and get trough it) :)


Lonely all time?*even shadow leaves us in dark" so...get the point?:P


Always remember we are blessed with good life compared to some people's life out there..no food,no clothes,no money,starvation and etc..hmmm


Never compare your ability or looks to others..because that's like insulting yourself!


Look up!walk straight!Be confident!


Do what makes u happy!
as long no harm or hurt to others!
And alwayS Listen to Your HearT :)

This year...whOooOsh!so fast..

I still remember standing by window near my bed watching fire crackers beeing played in few places around KL town (well from my current room i can see KLCC and other areas around that too :) ),while drinkin a glass of zappel'celebrating new year!DAMN...now it's already may..so fast,dont cha think so?


Well for this past five months...Life tought me more patience..probably getting more wiser.yeah,i m already freaking 23 now..so as age grows,maturity increases and thinking changes...that's the exact obvious process happening!eventually i m more stronger now because i can get over my hard times and move on fast :) *yeh yeh*


January
-exam mode-total tense period as no proper guidance nor notes for certain subjects and so many emendments done last minute. :(
-house owner had some sorta misunderstanding with the previous tenant,so without any mercy they were bugging me and telling me their problems till 11.45pm,although knew i m having exam at 8 am next day...hmmmm...how mean they can be :(
-there was a trespass in my room by Mr ugly during my exam period...oh damn!for 1 week it tortured me massively.It didnt know the way out even the window and door was wildly open :(  and keep moving on my things...so YUCKY!
-finally exam over and no idea where the mr.ugly disappeared!
-Last day in college...no words...i truly miss those moments,especially those people who appeared and made it great..
-Thaipusam...honestly its dying as time goes...no longer like those days.Nomore excited nor happening neiter fun like last time.. :(


February
-valentine!!!it was just another day...no celebration.i went for my cousin's engagement in seremban.
-Anniversary!:) *secreto*
-and yeah!!!i had a vacation finally with my mum,aunties and cousins in melaka!(will update bout the trip soon with pictures)


March
-REST!REST!REST!
-got calls from few places for interview..honestly i need a BREAK!so i drop it :) i didnt go for the interviews
-Got call from one of the big company,for contract posistion...mum kept bugging me to give a try.so i did,3 hours interview (test and Hr interview)..honestly i didnt prepare at all as i was in klang and the intrerview was right on next day at 9am in kl,it was already 4pm,and  i have no idea where the office located..i didnt prepare any documents..so imagine? :/


April
-had a call,that i got the job and i have to join right next day!so damn f&^%ish!i was not prepared at all...they keep informing last minute and i had to rush here there.The job is at next 8.30am (tuesday) and they informed me at 6.15pm (monday).
-i had no proper clothes for job also...so i decided to go shopping around 7pm something in jusco,obviously alone :(.My luck was so "good"...i rushed to atm machine to withdraw money,and i inserted my card in a spoiled machine,therefore the atm ate my card.there was no sign saying "it's rosak"...any idea how horrible was it...hmmmm....dad had to bank in cash in my cimb account,with that i shopped few clothes..so tens nyer..


will update on my working life in my next blog yer.. :)

About me..my feelings..:) *part 1*

Just felt like letting know more about me and my feelings.. :)

WhaT makes me happy..
If..
i can dance in the rain with my girls
i can go outing with my friends
i can go for a vacation in a cold place and wrapped in my loved one's arms
anyone praises me infront of my parents.."collars up"..coz i know that their heart rejoice.
i can get a passion kiss in the rain :)

when
i can make others happy
i able to make help others
i know,i m the reason behind someone's smile
i passed by in someone's mind
things go my way
i have cash in my hand..lols!
i see my bros after sometime.
My bros get me something with their savings..*so touched and truly happy*

Excites me..
when..
i see chocolates...*yummy*
i can drink johnny's chocolate shake...weee :D takes me ride to heaven!"
i see phython :)
i see soft toys or passes by any toys shops.
i have chances to plan up social activities.
i know,suprise waiting me.
i see anyone after ages.
i receive msges from long lost buddy
i see small babies...cute-nyer!
i see any pet shops.
Receiving call from old buddies
when someone buys me teddy

Random facts..
i still read doraemon
i still go to toycity and toyrus
i still visit barbie dolls side
i still play in playground
i still enter lift and press all the floor..sometime!
i still get injured :(
i still play those kids dressing and coloring games online.
i still play prank on my bf!
i intended to watch power rangers (1995) all over again..i started,but pausing currently.
i still find it so hard to eat chicken when go out makan with people :(
i still not good in using chopstick
i get so attracted to dishes that are in red.
i m sucha sweet tooth!
i still whack those choki choki,super ring and nyam nyam
Often  flip to orbituary section the moment i grab a newspaper.
i do imagine those evil things when people pisses me of to max!
i love to imagine and dream...so i do visit in my imaginery world whenever i m free.
i repeat some of my mistakes

someone = anyone
thats all for now!part 2 will cum up soon!